Staff Reflections 2008

School Staff share thoughts on 2008
Friday, 23 November 2007
The Synergy Team 2008

“We are a courageous, passionate and hardworking team that through co-creative, organised effective systems, and continuing personal and professional development while consciously deepening our personal relationships, we experience a synergetic, inspiring and self-believing team that impacts the broader community.” STAFF VISION 2008

Below are the reflections of the staff members on their experience of being part of this school. They share their growth, their learnings and their 'truths'. These are uncensored and full of detail. As you will read, the staff at Synergy have a lot to share because they feel they are making a real difference to the lives of the children, the parents and perhaps, to you the website reader. If you would prefer to read these reflections as a downloaded pdf, please click on this link for 2007 Reflections

Robin Booth
Image The one definition of the word ‘reflection’ is “a fixing of the thoughts on something; careful consideration”. So if I fix my thoughts on this past year and observe what is has brought me, I have been humbled to see people grow, change and take on the challenge of being a teacher, a parent and a human being. Somehow children seem to exist in a niche on their own. They take their lives on and adapt to change at a rate far quicker than us as adults. The following pages are the reflections of the teachers. They share with you their observations and thoughts on what this year has meant to them, and the growth they have undergone.

I love the saying, “I am not sure who invented water but I am pretty sure it wasn’t a fish.” This saying is so apt for us at Synergy. It is so difficult to describe and to see the thing that by its mere existence, defines a part of who we are. The fish is separate from the water but without it the fish doesn’t exist. Therefore to some degree, water is part of the fish. And in this school, we are part of something which is bigger than just us as people and children learning about reading and writing. Through the course of this year, I get glimpses of the ‘water’, our ‘inter-connectedness’ and see how this school plays a role in that process.

Kerri Hamlett, pre-school teacher

Reading through July’s reflection sharing I am present to this reflection being more about what I have processed personally in the last six months. It is less about my learning through the children or because of a classroom experience and more about what I have processed on a personal level. So this reflection sharing is motivated by what I have experienced and learnt for myself in the last six months.

I walk away from 2008 knowing and believing that I am able to make happen what I want to happen in my life. Typing that sentence and processing all that it means I feel tears prickle in my eyes. Regardless of; high interest rates, never enough time, not having the perfect space, not knowing if people will believe it’s valuable, working with the unknown, not always having all the answers, not having enough money, what if it fails and all the other conversations that have taken place in my consciousness, (head) around why I am not able to do something or make something happen.

I continue to believe that I am able…

I have began my life journey of believing in myself and getting at a core level that I am able! Working from the understanding that who you are being as a teacher has a direct impact on the children and how they begin to see themselves consider this…

There is a child in my class who would desperately like to own a set of drums. In an informal conversation during an outside play session a few days ago; we talked about really wanting things and the frustration of not knowing how to get them or how to make getting them happen. We discussed a couple of your own ideas for making things happen and what’s possible with each other. We didn’t reach any real conclusion in our conversation at the same time I believe I challenged his beliefs around what he thought was possible for himself.

A few days ago, at school he showed me some money, he had made from selling fudge. Through an experience he created for himself he has began to get that through his own actions and commitment he is able to make happen what he wants for his life.

During the conversation we had outside I was coming for a space of believing that each person is able to make “it” happen for themselves. I wonder if the outcome of that conversation would have been different had I agreed that not having the money you need is a limiting factor…

Cindy Adams, Grade 1 & 2 teacher

At times I feel like I am a ‘learner’ at Synergy School. I guess in some ways we all are. As I reflect at the end of each season I am aware of the learnings that I have experienced, and inevitably my learnings are linked to one of the core principles of our school. Thinking back on the last six months my biggest learning seems to be of that of learning that, “I can.” This is not the first time that I have “learnt” this and my sense is that this learning, and other “SynEDgy learnings,” seem to come in layers. Once you think that you’ve learnt the lesson and you can close the book, the next layer becomes visible. Then it’s a deeper awareness, a greater depth of integrating your changed perceptions and new commitments. The learning does not seem to have an ending; rather the next stretch of the journey unfolds as the last stretch ends.

In reflecting on this I year I am present to many new “I can’s.” I can be a fantastic core teacher without an assistant, I can say what I need to parents and children alike, and I can not share those needs too. I can stand firm in what I believe and be open to hearing someone else’s belief (and it does not mean that my beliefs are any less valid). I can teach with passion and enthusiasm when I do not feel like I have the energy for either. I can be clear, firm (‘strict’) and liked simultaneously – in fact I have come to realise that they all go hand in hand. I can do things that I am scared of doing and, in the face of the fear, be powerful and courageous. I can let go of being right and hold a space for others to say what they need to say. I can go further even when it feels like I have reached the end. In many situations I am aware that, despite my thoughts and feelings telling me otherwise, I CAN.

I love the way that whatever new awareness or growing I am experiencing is so often mirrored within the group that I teach. It clearly shows that what we teach children comes so much more from our being than from our content filled, well-structured lessons. It is clear that this year many of the children in our group have realised that, “they can.” They can do the monkey bars, they can find five new friends, they can read all the books in the Harry Potter series and they can read, “The Ugly Duckling,” all on their own. They can get better at soccer, at reading, at writing and at having a correct pencil grip. They can learn to share what’s not working for them, with their best friend or with children that they do not know. They can speak to their parents about things that don’t work for them and they can find something to acknowledge in every child and teacher in our group. They can support each other and ask for their own space, they can share what they need and want, as well as accept when things need to be different. They can give to children from a refugee camp, enrolling the school in doing the same, and they can look at what we can do to protect endangered animals. They can keep trying when it’s a big challenge; and they can choose to do something different that works better for them. They can do so much and there is still more that they can do.

I am so proud of the way that the children in my group have grown and blossomed this year. There is a greater sense of confidence and, “I CAN -ness,” in every child in our group. Not only have they learnt the three R’s (reading, writing and arithmetic) they have learnt many other R’s too. Respect, responsibility, relationship skills and values, relating to different age groups and in diverse contexts. They have developed a deep realisation of how much they are able to do, how much they are able to create and to be who they chose to be.

At the end of this year I am present to just how much these children teach us: • how to be quick to forgive • the importance of playing with your friends immediately after forgiving them • how to ask for what you need, knowing that it is a sign of strength • the importance of perseverance, especially when the odds seem to be against you • and how to believe in yourself, to say, “I can,” even if I don’t think or feel like I could.

As this year draws to a close, I am present to how much more I (and we) can learn from the children next year in our new group. In embarking on this new stretch of the journey I am aware of the endless possibilities of what I CAN do next year.

Tahirih Cook, Grade 5 & 6 teacher

I think it is the curriculum work which my group has engaged which defines the last 6 months. During the 3rd term my group focused on history – personal as well as the history of South Africa. This inquiry project began with the children writing their personal narratives. Their task was to reflect on how they have been shaped by significant events in their lives. Children started this process by identifying the events which they felt were significant in their lives. I learned a great deal about them as human beings as they shared and remembered. One of the things which stands out for me are their memories of school. I was surprised at how many children talked about things which happened to them during their first few years at school. Children talked about experiences where they encountered conflict with other children, with teachers as well as with their parents. These experiences seemed to be defining moments in their lives as well as their construction of self. Out of this sharing our group had a powerful conversation (the first of many) – what do you do in situations where you are not as good as others at something or where you do not meet the expectations of those around you. The conclusion reached by the group was that you are not defined by those around you; we are all individuals who have unique talents and capacities. The skill or ability of others does not have to be a judgement of you. As usual this type of insight and exploration was very exciting for me.

I think that it is fair to say that the past two terms have been characterized by ongoing explorations of this nature. I feel that the children have become more open and accepting about who they are – their strengths and their weaknesses. It is my sense that they have become more present and willing to take responsibility for their actions as well. As a result, I have found that their relationship with themselves as well as with others have become easier; their ability to engage with conflict and to find solutions which meet the needs of those involved in the situation has also developed. I realise now as I write this reflection that even though I said it was the curriculum which has been a highlight for me, in actual fact it has been the children’s personal growth and development which has brought me an immense amount of joy and pleasure. The curriculum about their personal history and the history or South Africa was fascinating. The exploration of mapping and geography has also been engaging. Our work around Numeracy – laws and patterns has been rewarding. At the same time, I can see now that it has been human and relational development which has been facilitated by the curriculum that lies at the heart of the educational experience for me. I believe that this is directly connected to the experiential nature of the educational process as well as my commitment to creating space for children to develop as human beings. The one process cannot happen with out the other. When I ask the children to identify what they remember from this year, it is all the activities that they recall. They talk about the outings, science experiments, art activities and projects. They talk about times when they were active creators and participants of their own learning. So as the year comes to end, I feel good about everything that has occurred in the last 6 months. It has been a positive, generative time for me and for my class!

Kim Webber, Grade 3 & 4 teacher

As I was contemplating what I should write in these reflections, I was mindful of a conversation that happened just the other day. It was home time and I was on playground duty at the gate. There were a number of the parents from my class sitting chatting on and around the log and one called out “Hey Kim how was your day?” And another responded immediately “It’s more like, Hey, Kim how was your year?!” Along with this was a lot of warm laughter and a lot of understanding that made me feel valued as a human being and as not just being the teacher. So how was my first year at Synergy?

For me this has been a year of incredible personal growth. It is something that I value enormously and I am not aware of any other place where the tension is created for this level of growth to happen and that has the support that is in place to assist the development that comes out of this. One of the deepest shifts that I have experienced within myself, and this is something that I have felt almost physically, is how much more comfortable I am with being me. I experience it as feeling more centered at the core of my being ,which gives me an inner calm that is creating space for me to now look at the areas of my life that I want to grow in and for creating more of the life that I want. This has been a fundamental shift for me. I am aware too that this is something vital that I bring to the children. As I grow, so it supports their growth too.

What I have valued so much is the depth of the relationships that happen at Synergy. I really enjoy the sense of community that we have created in our class and what this means to the children and what it gives them. I have watched in awe at some of the games that have happened at break, where the group games have involved the whole class and how they create and evolve these games together, some of it spoken, a lot of it through doing and being. Another aspect of the depth of the relationships is where our class has been a safe space to be vulnerable. I am aware of a number of instances, particularly in this last term, where there have been children who have been upset about something and have sat in the ring, with tears in their eyes and asked the class to support them and no one has made fun of them but have let them feel what they are feeling and have looked for ways to support them. This has been with both boys and girls. It has been incredibly powerful to be a part of this. It also makes me aware that the more I acknowledge how I am feeling, the more I create the space for the children to be able to express how they are feeling.

Another aspect that I have valued about the relationships at Synergy is depth of the relationships that happen with the parents. I feel that I have got to know so many of you in a way that I never got to know my own children’s teachers in the past. I have so enjoyed making so many connections that feel like they go beyond my just being the teacher. I am aware that having my own child in the class has been a part of this and this is one of the great things about having Declan in my class. It gives me the opportunity to get to connect to parents in a very different context, as a parent. With that has come support where I would not have expected it, when I was sick lifts for my children to school and meals being made, being able to support each other when we need a child to be looked after, an ear to listen when something in life gets us down….

And so I look forward to my next year at Synergy. I am excited at bringing more of the conscious me to the classroom, of me being clearer, more focused, more centered and ready to have a lot of fun learning!

Vuyo Madlingozi, Grade 3 & 4 Assistant

This has been a good and a difficult term for me at the same time. In it I realized and learnt the truth about the practicality of Synergy being the space where you can be yourself without being judged. I strongly believe in the Synergy staff with the kind of support that I’m getting now because I’m seeing it happening to me now as I’m sick. They are greatly supporting me. Also in this term the chemistry between Kim and me has grown. Our working relationship was so good and the results were that were always on the same page about everything. Everybody has been a learning curve for us because we would talk about what happened each day and look for ways of doing it differently for us to get different results in connection with the class. In this term my personal connection to Kim grew as our levels of communication deepened.

That brought out the other side of Kim and me trusting her more and more and helping us to understand each other. With the administration day at home that created clarity as I would say we were always very much prepared as we used to be. The more clear we are resulted in us being the more clear to our group. I’ve enjoyed interacting with each and everyone in our group as that brought growth as they are all different individuals. I learnt that it is important to understand people that you are in relation with, being children in your class or anyone. Out of that understanding you get a good relationship.

Debbie Ntshangase, Pre-school teacher

My biggest learning about myself this term was that the more I stayed in action the less time there was for me to give in to my 'mind talks' that sounds like; “I can’t, I should not, what if, I don’t want to....” The result was feeling connected to the person that I know I CAN BE.

One other learning was that change does not happen over night. It takes hard work, dedication and commitment. I saw children grow from being unsettled and anxious about school into happy and content little beings. This only came about with commitment from parents, children and me to take one step at a time and what I saw was children that “grew up overnight.”

I also became present to the fact that the more I shared myself without any expectation that it should happen at a specific time and place, the more meaningful these sharings become. I would like to believe that these are times that we as humans integrate at our best. On that note, a “Big thank you” for those of you that created those moments with me this term.

As 2008 is coming to a close, for the first time I came to realize that Synergy has advanced tremendously since its humble beginnings. I would like to think that together with the rest of the Synergy community we should take rightful pride in the accomplishments occurred over the years. I came to witness continued opportunities created that brought about amazing energies of a growing community with a common goal; “To see Synergy grow”.

My wish for myself and everybody else at Synergy for next year is that we as a community can continue to serve as that environment in which individual effort and collective action can compliment each other so that we can get closer to our "Goal".

Patsy Hamilton, pre-school assistant

As the last couple of days of this term and this year flies by, I have that panicky feeling I get when I play Pictionary or Charades and the sand in the timer is just about to run out. I feel like there is still so much to do, things I've not quite completed and things that have slipped my mind. Now, I could beat myself up about all the things that are incomplete, instead I'll be kind to myself and give myself credit for what I have accomplished.

Six months ago, I set the goal of being a co-teacher rather than being an assistant. I can tick that one off as accomplished. Well and truly. I took on, not only the preschool classes but also Cindy's class on several occasions. Not always easy; and I had to face who I was being in those moments. I had preconceived ideas about what children should be doing and should be capable of. In my mind, MY expectations were reasonable and obviously completely do-able. As a result, I was faced with a lot of frustration. As we all know, frustration is the result of unmet expectations. Once I let go of my ideal desired outcome for a session or a day, I could just be present and have fun. I also needed to let go of my pet-peeves and perfectionist tendencies. Although I think I will never get rid of my too strict reputation, children know that they can still have fun with me. And to be honest, I kinda like being known as the strict teacher.

I have also further defined my job description to include that of the staff representative on the board. I have taken on liaising between the parent reps and the staff. I made team build session with Gavin Coetzee happen and organized the soccer match and I think most importantly, been an ear to listen and a support for staff.

The thing I have rediscovered about myself is that I can play a great many roles. I have the ability to take on many things, and when I lack the ability or know-how; I have chutzpah by the truckload. The challenge is: keeping organized. The biggest learning in the past six months is that I am not nearly as organized as I thought. The system I have for organizing and keeping track of what is going on in my life did not evolve with my evolving role and it is missing the mark. Is it the cause of feeling anxious? Definitely. When I feel that I am not in control and completely on the ball, it occupies my mind and consciousness, I can't be fully present. That in turn interrupts the flow of my day and my space. Although it is not always easy to have your shortcoming or flaws highlighted, I welcome this learning. It is often in the finding out of what is not working at full capacity, that clarity is found. With that clarity we then know what we need to do to get what we want.

What I want to more of in my life, is me being on the top of my game. I want to have more control. I want to experience more flow. I want to have more fun. So, therefore my goal for the next six months is clear. Devise (and update) a system that will keep all the balls in the air. What will the impact of that be?, I can hear you ask. I get what I want more. And the impact of that? The children will get more order, more fun and more flow. And the impact of that? Their families will get what they got. And so the ripples grow wider and wider. I wonder what the impact of that will be.

Ursula Coetzee, aftercare teacher

At the moment, I find my self asking. ”How many people am I?” By this I mean, I am learning to come to terms with my Sense Of Self. This is coming as a huge shock to me. Instilling a never known fear and at the same time a wonderful excitement.

I always thought I was just Ursula, with a kind, quiet existence. I now know I am so much more that that. I feel alive and committed to being me.

I have learnt that to others, I am angry, I am happy; I am content, I am honest, I am brave, I am level headed and logical. I am slow, I am easy going I am crabby, I am warm and generous and I am mean and critical can go on and on and on about how others may see me.

In all this, I have leant that no one will ever see me in the same light. Everyone has a different impression of me and of those around them. I now know it’s nothing personal. It’s just another way of looking at me. I look and act different to everyone around me, therefore impacting everyone differently too. I also now look at everyone else around me as different and with their own unique self.

By me finding my sense of self, the group in my care have come to realise why at times I do treat them differently. What in the past may have been seen as unfair, is now seen as, that’s what that specific Childs needs are. They have also therefore learnt more about me and my self-discovery path I am on. They at the same time are also learning more about the others in the group.

Over the next six months I would like to get to know all the children at Synergy better, not just those in my regular care. I will be spending more time, in the class with all your children. playing and learning with them.

I have enjoyed every minute at Synergy, even the difficult days, as those days are the ones I have learnt the most from. I look forward to next year with all of you.

Victoria Hanratty, co-teacher

The biggest learning about who I am in the past 6 months is that by loving myself unconditionally I in turn open my heart to love others unconditionally. I have recently started learning and am still in the process of learning how to love myself and accept myself for who I am on the inside and the outside. This has helped me to have built more confidence in myself, my class and in my Synergy Skills. By me haven grown in these areas has built a more understanding, comfortable and enjoyable class environment.

This has impacted my class in such a way that when I need to step into a conflict situation I feel more present, knowledgeable and experienced to handle it on my own. This has also impacted my class in such a way that conflict situations are being resolved. And in other areas like acknowledging feelings and understanding someone else’s understanding which are being used more and more frequently. As these Synergy Skills are being used and met, children are feeling more comfortable coming to me with their emotions and situations than previously. They in turn feel complete and satisfied.

The biggest learning as a class or as a group is that by us all working together and supporting each other creates a better learning environment.

What I would like to share with the parents is that I am going to study teaching through UNISA next year. It is a four year correspondence course so I will remain a part of the Synergy Team for quite a good couple of years with the intention of becoming a core teacher in the future. I will be studying the foundation phase.

What I am inspired to do over the next 6 months is to carry on with my math resource book for next year, to support the new teacher that I am going to be working with in any way I can and to study hard and achieve good results.

Tressa Colmer

Re-joining the Synergy School Team in October 2008, after three years in Swellendam, has hugely impacted my sense of being. The Synergy bug had bitten before I left the area and I spent the three years away with a burning desire to spread the good news of a philosophy that embraces a “strategy of the possible”. I grappled with a community that struggled to let go of truths that they considered to be absolute and a lifestyle that was closed to negotiation and the process of change. I arrived bright eyed and bushy tailed, but soon hankered to be part of a team that integrated differences rather than trying to eliminate them. I wanted culture to be constructed and democracy to be put into practice. I needed to feel valued as an individual and not become part of a pack. I wanted to develop a culture of learning that embraced experiential learning, where each child realised their true potential and a place where teachers, parents and children co-constructed the learning environment.

I recently read the book “Call of the Wild” by Jack London to my class. The story was loved by the children, but I think I loved it more!! As the story unfolded and Buck, (a tame wolf working with a pack of sled dogs), identified within himself the call to stop being part of the pack, I suddenly had a burning desire to break from the ropes and return to the place where I could nurture my passion, my innermost desire, or an instinct……an instinct to be in a space that resonates my life long desire to be part of an education philosophy that develops quality relationships, nurtures the individual and develops core values of dignity, respect, confidence and creativity. I no longer wanted to feel harnessed by a community that were determined to tame their children into traditional mindsets and into their own past realities. “When I was at school, we did it this way and look at me. I am successful, I am rich , I am …………so why do it differently” Like Buck I realised it was going to take the pack of dogs a long time to come to terms with the call of their instinct in order to break free . I was the wolf amongst a trained pack of subservient dogs and my life too short now to fight the good fight as a loner in the pack.

So when the opportunity to rejoin Synergy presented itself, I felt the rush of adrenalin and immediately fought myself free of the ropes and chains holding me back. I realised that I needed to spend time with those who were like-minded and where I could help to make a difference. On reflection I know that I had to spend time with the “dogs” to realise where I wanted to be. My experiences spent away from Synergy forced me to focus on my hearts desires………….my instinct, that Synergy is the doorway to freedom in learning. It is the future of education.

On returning to Synergy, the “wolves” had changed. They had grown up and the leader had matured! I have had to relearn the language, but the instinct is there! At times I have felt like the “wolf” that returns to the wild, and needs to urn the respect, as an outsider learning to be part of the bonded and synchronised team and to speak the developed Synergy “language”. But unlike the dogs who were whipped into submission by their owners, Synergy is like the wolves……. free, working outside of extrinsic motivators and yet working together as a family, in a free environment that promotes the individual without having to be whipped or harnessed.

As the “Call of the Wild” set me free, I look forward to working with the Synergy team in creating a place where children and parents are set free in a nurturing environment learning to live life now for the future.